1, 2a, 2b, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9

10, 11, 12, 13, 14a, 14b, 15, 16, 17

Poem 12:  Do you think this is smart?

Marrucini Asini, manu sinistra

non belle uteris: in ioco atque uino

tollis lintea neglegentiorum.

hoc salsum esse putas? fugit te, inepte:

quamuis sordida res et inuenusta est.

non credis mihi? crede Pollioni

fratri, qui tua furta uel talento

mutari uelit: est enim leporum

differtus puer ac facetiarum.

quare aut hendecasyllabos trecentos

exspecta, aut mihi linteum remitte,

quod me non mouet aestimatione,

uerum est mnemosynum mei sodalis.

nam sudaria Saetaba ex Hiberis

miserunt mihi muneri Fabullus

et Veranius: haec amem necesse est

ut Veraniolum meum et Fabullum.

You, Asinius Marrucinus, aren’t

employing your left hand handsomely: amid wit

and wine you’re lifting the napkins of the neglectful!

Do you think this is smart? It eludes you, stupid,

how much of a sordid and tasteless thing it is.                5

You don’t believe me? Believe then Pollio,

your brother, who’d like your dishonesties exchanged

for even as much as a talent (truly, there’s

a boy chock-full of charms and witticisms).

So, either expect three hundred hendeca-                     10

syllables, or return me my linen!

It’s not its monetary value which bothers me,

but it’s a souvenir from a friend, for

Fabullus and Veranius dispatched me

Saetabian napkins from Iberia                                        15

as a gift, and I must love them as I love

my little Veranius and my Fabullus.

Notes
Asinius Marrucinus is not as well known as his brother Gaius Asinius Pollio (line 6), who was a friend of Virgil and Horace, historian, orator, poet, playwright, literary critic and politician (he was consul in 40 BC). Veranius and Fabullus are unknown friends of Catullus mentioned in other poems.

Lintea, linen napkins, also called sudaria, were fashionable and useful accoutrements of the peripatetic dinner guest in the days when people ate with their hands rather than knives and forks. They would also function as handkerchiefs and sweat rags.

The manus sinistra, or left hand (line 2), was believed by the Romans to be the hand of furtive deeds – hence our word ‘sinister’. Saetabis, where the napkins came from, is modern-day Xativa near Valencia.

The Latin metre is hendecasyllables; the English metre is iambic pentameters.