1, 2a, 2b, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9

10, 11, 12, 13, 14a, 14b, 15, 16, 17

Poem 14a:  An unwelcome gift

Ni te plus oculis meis amarem,

iucundissime Calue, munere isto

odissem te odio Vatiniano:

nam quid feci ego quidue sum locutus,

cur me tot male perderes poetis?

isti di mala multa dent clienti,

qui tantum tibi misit impiorum.

quod si, ut suspicor, hoc nouum ac repertum

munus dat tibi Sulla litterator,

non est mi male, sed bene ac beate,

quod non dispereunt tui labores.

di magni, horribilem et sacrum libellum!

quem tu scilicet ad tuum Catullum

misti, continuo ut die periret,

Saturnalibus, optimo dierum!

non non hoc tibi, salse, sic abibit.

nam si luxerit ad librariorum

curram scrinia, Caesios, Aquinos,

Suffenum, omnia colligam uenena.

ac te his suppliciis remunerabor.

uos hinc interea ualete abite

illuc, unde malum pedem attulistis,

saecli incommoda, pessimi poetae.

Were it not that I love you more than my eyes,

my most delightful Calvus, I’d despise

you for that present with Vatinian hatred:

for what have I done or what have I said

that you’d just wreck me with so many poets?                5

May the gods grant many misfortunes to

that client who sent you such a lot of blasphemers.

(But if, as I suspect, the teacher Sulla

presents you with this newly discovered gift,

I’m not put out but all hale and hearty,                            10

because your services aren’t for naught!) Great gods,

what a horrible, cursed little book!

Which, without doubt, you sent to your Catullus

so that he pass away without delay

on the best day – the Saturnalia!                                    15

No, Salty, you’ll not get away with this,

for, if the dawn ever arrives, I’ll run

to the booksellers’ boxes, collect all of

the poisons – the Caesiuses, Aquinuses,

Suffenus – and pay you back with these tortures.         20

In the meantime, farewell from here, you worst

of poets, aggravations of our age,

away back there from where you brought bad feet!

Notes
Gaius Licinius Calvus, mentioned in four poems, was a fellow Neoteric and court advocate; perhaps Catullus’ best friend and two years younger than him. Publius Vatinius was a notorious, unscrupulous politician prosecuted by Calvus on three occasions, in 58, 56 and 54 BC. Sulla is unknown, but his description as a litterator, or elementary school teacher, is rather insulting. The poets Caesius, Aquinus and Suffenus are unknown. The Saturnalia festival began on December 17 and lasted for three days. It had attributes not unlike our Christmas, e.g. the giving of presents (as in this poem).

The Latin metre is hendecasyllables; the English metre is iambic pentameters.